Jack Ecton Carver

Oh, Bonnie. We are so sorry. Jack was such an undeniably special person. He touched and will be missed by many. Nicole and I are certainly members of that college. Sam missed out on knowing someone great. Though we no longer share a fence, you have nearly always been in our thoughts and have certainly been in our prayers. I am sorry we haven't been more ceaseless communicators.  Why are we so often unable to reach these conclusions without loss?

 

Reading the excerpts from Jack's autobiography made me smile and cry. Persistent was the lump in my throat. I was taken back to evenings spent arduously trying to learn bridge, Jack's incredible patience and complete lack of consternation (smile) and his quiet generosity. 

 

We should be so happy he endeavored to share himself yet again. It should be celebrated! 

 

On sharing, I also have a confession to make. 

 

Years ago Jack "loaned" me a book titled Horse Heaven.  I have intended to return it for nearly as long only to be discouraged by a desire to reimmerse myself in the text and now for its evocation of fond memories.  My recollection of its story is now reduced to a fuzzy modicum of the whole, but the book I still cherish; even now, as I type this admission, it sits prominently, only a few feet away, on a shelf in my office. It reminds me of Jack and of you and of fun times and of good neighbors and unstained fences and martinis.  I would be more than happy to return it to you now if you wish, although I would be honored to continue to see to its safe keeping.

I'd never met Jack when I reached out to him via email to ask for his daughters hand in marriage.  Yes I know email wasn't the most romantic of choices but Kim was already anticipating the proposal so I was keeping a low profile.  Asking for her Dad's phone number didn't seem to be a smart approach in that case.  I guess it isn't very subtle to take your future wife ring shopping under the guise of preparing 'just in case' you need to pick out a ring she might like some day.  

I had no phone number for Jack although I am sure I could have come up with some clever strategy to get it from Kim or my soon to be family.  But with everything else that I was juggling I took the easy out and fired off an email.  Off course then I had to wait what seemed like years for his reply so I guess there really is no easy way out. 

His response was pretty quick and he was gracious and welcoming.  He sent back an email giving his blessing, wishing me luck, and hoping to meet me soon.  As the wedding plans progressed and it became obvious that Australia was where it was going to have to be, he put aside his dislike of leaving home for any length of time and we dragged him down under.  He told me the fishing trip to New Zealand on the same visit was a huge highlight for him.  That had he been younger he might even have considered emigrating. As much as he loved it I am not sure it made up for us making him dress up and stand up to say a few words.  There was a brief attempt to convince us to elope so he didn't have to get up and say anything.  It involved a large check from memory.  But Kim was having none of that.  I guess he really loved to be behind a camera rather than in front of it.  But his love for his daughter was stronger than his dislike at being in the spotlight and he did a better job than I did that day.  That was something we shared.  A dislike of being made a fuss of or of being the center of attention.

We also both enjoyed a passion for books.  Spencer, Hawk, Travis McGee, and Jack Reacher were some of our shared favorite characters.  It may be that the studio decision to cast Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher in the movie Reacher contributed to Jack's sudden decline at the end.  He said to me he had no interest in seeing the movie.  He couldn't remember one movie made from a book adaptation that held a candle to the book it was adapted from.

I think Ryan and Logan brought him a ton of amusement and joy and we're all thankful that he got to witness them grow from babies into the boys they have become and see the hint of the men they will be.  Indeed to help form the men they will be with his own wisdom and presence and Jackness.  

I miss him and I'll miss him.  Everyone should get so lucky that they marry their soul mate and find the family they are now in has great people with great soul to it as well.  I really enjoyed hanging out on the weekends with him and talking about everything from politics, to books, to the boys, to my wife, to all the memories and experiences he'd had in life that he was kind enough to share through his stories.  Of course once he poured me the first bourbon and coke it was hard to recall all the details.  I think he was either concerned there might be a coke shortage or perhaps he disapproved of watering the bourbon down with coke.  Either way it had quite a kick and it came in pints.

I'll remember the signature dishes he cooked for us.  Biscuits and gravy with country bacon for breakfast and his home made chilli for lunch or dinner.  I'll remember him pushing me to eat the mountain oysters at the Fort on one of my first trips to Denver.  I'm not really nuts about them.  They tasted like the batter or coating they had on them and not much else.  But I think he appreciated I gave them a shot.

I can't sum up ten years of memories in one post.  But that's okay.  He'll live on in our memories and in the stories we pass on of him.  Here's to his 81 years.  Not all of them good, by his own accounts, but all of them lived on his terms.
 

I shared this short video with Jack in the final weeks of his life. He told me that it captured well many of his feelings about life and dying. May it bring you some comfort.

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First and foremost, I would like to thank Jack for introducing my dad to my mom oh so many years ago for had that introduction never taken place......well, I  wouldn't be here today!   My dad, mom, aunt, and Jack all attended DU.  But MY memories of Jack began in our neighborhood as he and his family moved down the block from us.  Jack's son, Jeff, became one of my brother's closest friends through the summers spent in Colorado with his dad.  Bill and Jeff were inseparable the minute Jeff arrived for the summer.  One memory connected to that friendship was the combined Sorensen/Carver spring break trips to AZ for sun, golf, and another opportunity for Jack and Bill (and all of us) to see Jeff for that week because Jeff lived in AZ during the school year with his mom.  I also vividly remember my dad's 40th birthday party when Jack showed up with black "Bill Sorensen is 40" buttons for everyone to wear as well as a mock up of the Wheat Ridge Sentinel with the same headline. They were a hit and made for a fun time.  And who can forget Jack's deep voice and powerful laugh?

I would also like to express the sadness my mom felt upon being told of Jack's passing.  My mom suffers from Alzheimer's which has robbed her of the present memory but still holds memories of the past, and Mom was truly saddened at the news when I told her.  Tears immediately came to her eyes as she spoke of memories of the long-time friendship with Jack.  I know she would wish to express her sympathy to all of Jack's family, particularly Jeff, Jenny,and Kim.  

 

Ryan, don't ever lose your great outgoing personality. It's so great that you like people and are so warm and friendly to complete strangers. If you like people, people will like you. You're a very special person. And Logan, I'm sorry that you won't be able to create your pill to prevent death in time for it to help me, but don't give up. There are lots more people that you can help in the future. I wish that I could have lived long enough to have taken you both fishing lots of times but I'm going to have to rely on your mother to do that for you. And I hope that you learn to like it as much as I did.